Who Am I

And how did I become me?

I woke up at 5:15 this morning and for some reason my first thought of the day was, "I'm 47 years old and really, who am I ?". Then, my second thought, I better get the coffee going fast and wake my brain up, it is way to early to be thinking such stuff! Well, here I sit writing on my blog, the coffee only managed to kick my mind into high gear...

So, after another cup of coffee, I realized why I am thinking the way I am, it's because of a couple of phone calls. I recently reunited by telephone with a classmate from my high school graduation thirty years ago and we have spoken by phone twice. After approximately 7 hours of conversations with her I guess it has brought back some memories, both good and bad.

We all know that high school can be fun, but in some ways it is a stressful time too! People want to know what your plans and goals are after you graduate and I can honestly say that my plans and goals as an adult are not the same as they were then in high school, so I think that is a dumb question to ask a 17 or 18 year old. Why not just as someone what their dreams are, because people tend to hold you to what you say about your plans and goals and it's not fair sometimes.

It seems to me, that life sometimes dictates who you are without even giving you the opportunity to be in control of certain circumstances and with that said, why would I ever want to state my plans or goals to anyone again. What does one do when things don't work out the way you once said, I guess you go on the defense and then one morning you decide to write about it.

I guess even after all these years I am still trying for figure out who I am and who I may still become. But, there are some things I do know! I am a good Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Sister and Aunt that loves her family more than life. I am someone you want around when you need some encouraging words, I am able to laugh at myself in a crowded room or cry when no one is looking and since my mother passed away, I have become a very strong and independent woman that has learned to expect disappointment as a part of real life and one final thing I have to mention or I won't be telling it all... I am a bit obsessed with things being clean and in their place... just thought I would throw that in the mix so no one has to remind me. LOL

I am proud of my life and I'm glad those plans and goals back in high school weren't cast in stone. Otherwise, I would have missed out on my dreams!